theyre change - emptyness

gue merasa kosong banget hari ini :(

makin pusing makin cape :(

starts with di sekolah pagi pagi ada gege . it makes me get some happyness for a while .
terus ulangan TIK . cemberut lagi gue .

si mr.T juga bkin bete . bukan dia sih . tapi BF gue di sklh yg bkin bete . dia terlihat lebih deket sama mr.T and T is for TRULY I DONT LIKE IT !! i'm just confused . i share all the LITTLE things whit her , but now i dont have anyone to share with because this LITTLE things have no place. :(

and then - pulang skolah sampe rumah jam 2 . nyokap marah dengan alasan gue ga mau olahraga . men , truly gue capek banget . and its enough to get my feeling down and down .

dan gue tidur sampe baru bangun jam 7 . its enough to realized how tired i am .

gue buka facebook dgan lemot jam 9 .. gue buka profile siblings gue .

sibling satu .
status nya menyayat men . kaya pengen bilang gue ga ada arti nya lagi sbgai temen . for many month she never tried to make our connected still good . i tried it everyday but i just reaalized that she feels uncomfort with it . when she cant walk out with me , how it can be she was do the same with her friends . she walk put with her friend . its all told me about the changed things of her . i saw her graff there is one from someone i havent told who is HE . in his graff he wrote : "d*****y" i know what it means . her status makes me know that what i guess is true . gu emulai muak dengan caranya . gue mulai capek ngeantu dia . tapi gue mulai menikmati cara hidup gue yang bgini . ga tau knpa but its my way . sometimes i hate it but sometimes i realized how is it important for me . dia mulai berubah dari segala caranya yang gue kenal . she was changing with all her way i've knew it before . terkadang gue merasa mungkin gue terlalu mengekangnya sbgai temen gue . tapi gue tau thats the best way . and now look when im not into her again i just can watch the film roll showed me all the way . its hurt to see your friend changing . but you know . its better when you have someone to share it . but it hurts you more when it much to share but no one can't hear it . it makes me feel how empty i am :( gue berpikir lagi dan mencoba mencari hal positif . but i dont meet the positive at all . and i just want to share this to all my friends that have changed. hope they will read it --> you have yours , then you let me be alone . i guess you like it . i guess its your way . and i hope it will end . as soon as possible :')

i dont like this emptyness . i wanna get my self out . i wanna get my self out now .

:(

but its better when my 4th brother came . even he isn't give something to me , but i told him the whole truth - (half for a whole) . and told the red tint written on my blog to him . he juat keep his silent and i dont know does he hearing me . but i think its better than no one at all .

now at this time , when there's no SEKAR . i have nothing at all . but when i have someone i let her go . im so sorry and i guess i need you right now .

:')

and this day word is :

when it much to share but no one can't hear it . it makes me feel how empty i am .

you have yours , then you let me be alone . i guess you like it . i guess its your way . and i hope it will end . as soon as possible :')

xoxo, syendyathecatwalk